Wednesday, November 17, 2010

my ailing macasaurus

My laptop computer is making a terrible noise. Yesterday it happened just once. This morning, it has already happened more times than I can count. Everything is SLOW. The letters I am typing arrive on the screen with a disturbing time-lag. It makes me shiver a little and trips me up. I have backed up most things I care about - although I'm wondering what to do with my music... can I count on the ipod I have (of the same vintage) to be the backup for all those beautiful tunes? Oh, I am fearful. What change lies ahead?

This old Mac PowerBook G4 and I have been together for a long time. I bought her and brought her home about a month into my first real job. That was the fall of 2003. The price tag was huge for me, but my modest paycheck was more than I had ever made. The computer seemed all glamourous with the all-over silver tone and touchpad mouse. I felt so cool. The one shining moment when this computer was top-of-the-line-new was probably the pinnacle of my coolness. I still think this is about the coolest computer around. And we have had a nice long time together. I am now feeling wistful about all we have seen and done together.

Let's see... there have been at least 100 sermons (in at least 5 different settings), countless pages of reflections during two years of chaplaincy, thousands of photos, weddings, thousands of songs and podcasts, memorial liturgies, bazillions of emails, youth newsletters, adult education sessions, worship bulletins, and the list goes on and on. Those pieces of paper are just signposts for the paths I've walked in these seven years. I've carried this thing with me - literally as a companion - down quite a twisty path. It feels like I will be losing more than just the physical and touchable when this little flat box dies. It'll be more like letting go, somehow. Hopefully I won't lose my memory too, maybe just a few of my memories.

I don't know if it is the end for me and this macasaurus. I do know I am grateful for the time we've had. I thought we'd make it an even ten years, but maybe that was just me. Maybe I'm too much of a dreamer to be realistic about these things. About six months ago, the guy in the apple store didn't even remember what a G4 was! Kids. Anyway, if you have the inclination, put out some good vibes towards old yukonsally here. And maybe some advice about posting from my iphone? Oh, hang on, old girl.

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